Invisible Monsters
by Joy Fraser
Summary: 200 loosely related one shots documenting the life & times of Leah Clearwater.
1. Lull and Storm

**Invisible Monsters**

_When we don't know who to hate we hate ourselves. _

Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

* * *

_Title _Lull and Storm_  
Claim _Leah Clearwater_  
Rating _T_  
Warnings _Spoilers through Eclipse_  
Disclaimer_ I am not Stephanie Meyer_  
Summary _That was how it all started, anyway. With her attempted suicide._  
Table/Prompt _Angst / 01 Broken_  
Number _001/200_  
Word Count _1569

* * *

Some days, it wasn't so bad.

She got up, got dressed, ate, and did her god awful job- the job she hated because of her co wokers. It just made it worse that they were people she used to love.

Some days, she just wanted to die.

That was how it all started, anyway. With her attempted suicide.

The rain, which any human would have found frigid, was pleasant against her fevered skin. It came down in icey sheets, unrelenting, unforgiving. Dependable, even. In Forks, and by extension, La Push, the rain was constant. Sunny days were an anamoly. A long time ago, Leah had despised her local clime. If it were up to her, she would have lived in California, or Arizona. Somewhere hot and dry. Now she charished it, because if it got any hotter than 50 degrees, she'd surely overheat. She wouldn't leave, and she couldn't, even if she wanted to. She was tied to her homeland.

How ironic was it, then, that a defining geological feature of her homeland would be the death of her?

Maybe not all. Maybe it was just coincidental.

Turning her face to the sky, Leah closed her eyes as the rain fell against her face, her closed eyelids, making her skin numb. Washing her mind clean of the events that had taken place that day.

As if she didn't have enough to deal with, now she had a wedding in the near future. No, make that _two_ weddings- her ex boyfriend and ex best friend's, and the leech and object of Jacob's affections. That second one was annoying the crap out of Jake, though, and by extention, it was annoying the crap out of her.

By extension, Sam's own wedding was the source of much grief for him.

That was the first shitty thing that had happened to her only hours earlier. Sam had showed up at her door and asked her to please get over herself so he could enjoy his dream day.

He hadn't used those exact words, but that was the jist of it.

And then, like she never even talked to her stolen fiance, Emily had shown up and asked her to be maid of honor. She had so much nerve to even talk to Leah, to even invite her to the wedding.

Leah really didn't care how much she'd loved Emily a few years ago. She slapped her and ran away.

She'd ended up by the cliffs her wolf brothers made frequent jumps off of, for fun. She was considering them for a grimmer purpose, but she wondered how seriously she could take herself. When Sam had first left her, she'd considered it but chickened out. Heartbroken, but still so much to live for, she'd told herself.

That was before the whole werewolf fiasco.

Now it didn't seem like it would be too difficult. Certainly, a lot of people would be better off with out her in their lives. It wouldn't be such a greedy thing to do anymore. It'd be more like a selfless act of martyrdom. Something like that. She tried to delude herself into thinking she wasn't self centered.

But she was. Her mother, and her baby brother and sister, they'd be even more alone then they were now. Losing Harry had been hard on the family. Now Leah was the bacon bringer, putting food into Seth and Annabel's mouths. Even at fifteen and ten, they were still very much babies in their older sister's eyes. Even Seth, a werewolf himself, needed protecting. Annabel... well, all Leah could do was pray she'd never see the day Annabel could protect herself from Vampires.

They were probably asleep in their beds right now, Leah reflected. They expected her to make breakfast in the morning.

But Emily and Sam could do that. They'd already stolen everything else from her, why not her family, too? They could probably support them better than Leah ever could, anyway. Rolling her eyes, she sat down on the ledge of the cliff she'd been standing on for what felt like hours.

She enjoyed the solitude until she wasn't alone anymore.

"Leah, don't be an idiot." Jake yelled from somewhere behind her in his best no-bullshit voice. She craned her neck around to look at him. He'd parked his motorcycle next to hers and was about ten yards away from her. She turned her attention back to the ocean.

"Go away, squirt." She called back to him. He hadn't moved. He'd probably heard her thoughts while she'd been running around the woods pointlessly, before she'd come here. He must've known what was up, in any case.

"You can't swim." He pointed out. She scoffed. It was true, she'd never learned how. She'd despised the water so much she'd never seen the point. It was just another thing that made her inferior to the rest of the pack.

"That's kind of the point." She muttered to herself, flicking a pebble over the edge.

"Look, just don't move." He said, taking a step towards her. She held up a hand to signal that he stop moving.

"Can you just let me do this?" She snapped, looking at him again. He shook his head solemnly.

"I swear, if you jump, Lee..." He began, taking another step closer to her. She siddled forward, and his movement paused.

"Don't say you'd miss me." She said frankly, looking away from him. She was quite precariously perched now, but she knew if she fell there was still another ledge about ten feet that would catch her. She needed to clear the other cliffs if she wanted to not look like some sort of suicide idiot.

"Sam would." Jake said, evidently not picking his words very well. Leah laughed out loud at that.

"Sure, sure, like your leech is going to miss you in a hundred years." She must have really pissed him off, because he began running towards her. What was he going to do? Tackle her off the cliff? Kill her? Well, that wouldn't do. She flung herself forward, just praying she'd die and it wouldn't hurt too much, and maybe that Seth and Annabel wouldn't remember her as some traitor.

Hitting the water didn't kill her, but she did black out underneath the water. Sort of peacefully. She'd always thought death would hurt.

When she woke up, her first thought was _goddamn it_. Complete failure, and now she'd have to explain to her ten year old sister why exactly she'd jumped off a cliff when she couldn't swim.

This was perfectly fantastic.

She kept her eyes closed, listened for voices or indicators of her environment. Hearing only even breathing, she opened her eyes and found herself to be in her bedroom, with Seth curled up on the foot of her bed, Quil on the ground to her left and Embry in the chair to her right.

Great, Jake had sent the entire freaking b-team to stop her from killing herself. She never got what she wanted.

Pulling her sheets back carefully, she snuck out of the room, pushing the door open quietly. Not quietly enough.

"Where are you going?" Embry inquired wearily, already poking Seth in the shoulder.

"Jake pushed me." She accused immediately, trying to find an easy out to the situation.

"Yes," the sacarasm in Embry's tone was thick enough to be cut with a knife, "He pushed you and then fished you out so you could tell on him."

She frowned at that, and then went the kitchen. Unable to wake either Seth or Quil, Embry tagged after her.

"Put that down," He suggested cooly as Leah picked up a knife from the kitchen. Admittedly, she'd done it to get a rise out of him. It most certainly confirmed her suspicions, and she could probably use it to her advantage.

"I'm making breakfast." She said calmly, pulling some vegtables from the fridge.

"Let me do that." He said, eyes narrow. She smirked and relinquished the knife. Less work for her.

"Why did Jake send so many of you? Can't Seth keep an eye on me?" She inquired conversationally. You know, like they weren't discussing her attempt on her own life.

"Obviously not, since he refuses to wake up." Embry replied in a similar tone, suddenly very intent on chopping carrots.

"Changing the subject." Leah pointed out. She didn't take that kind of bullshit, especially not when she wanted to know something.

"Actually, Sam sent us." He admitted, eyes set on the debauched vegetables. Leah looked up in interest, something sparking deep within her. Her brow furrowed.

"Like he'd miss me," She said, echoing her earlier sentiments, "None of you would. Don't see why you're trying so hard." He sighed and set down the knife.

"That's not true." He refuted, looking up at her. She glanced towards her bedroom door.

"Seth, I guess." She admitted, looking down at her fingernails.

"And me," He added. She made a face. "Jake would. He saved you. Sam and Emily would-"

"Know that for a fact?"

"Better than you do, apparently."

She was silent at that, looking down at the bowl of eggs she was mixing.

"You're not as broken as you think, Lee." He said, turning back to his carrots. "You have people who love you. That's a hell of a lot more than some people have."

For once, she couldn't bring herself to disagree.

* * *

I'm doing this thing for a comm on livejournal where you have to write fanfic for 200 prompts. I will probably never finish (I am very lazy) but I'll put my finished ones here. It won't be this angsty for all 200, fear not. Anyway, I'd love to hear your reviews.

* * *


	2. We All Float On

**Invisible Monsters**

_The idea that I can't share my problems with other people makes me not give a shit about their problems._

Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

* * *

_Title _We all Float on_  
Claim _Leah Clearwater_  
Rating _T_  
Warnings _Spoilers through Eclipse_  
Disclaimer_ I am not Stephanie Meyer_  
Summary _Cooking breakfast with Embry became a ritual for her._  
Table/Prompt _Phrases / 03 "Oops"_  
Number _002/200_  
Word Count _713

* * *

Cooking breakfast with Embry became a ritual for her.

She wouldn't go as far as to say that she enjoyed it, but it was pleasant. Consistent. She was a creature of habit.

A little weird, now that she reflected on it. When she got up at six to start cooking (Annabel and Seth had to leave for school at seven thirty sharp), he was always already in her kitchen. She sort of wondered when he got there, but didn't really care.

For the most part, they prepared the food in silence. Leah didn't really like talking. Embry caught on pretty fast.

Sometimes it was like he couldn't hold his tongue, though.

The day of Emily and Sam's rehersal dinner, he noticed how tense she was. Upset.

"I think it's great you're doing it." He said about ten minutes into the process of frying eggs. She stabbed them with her spatula as watched. Being Emily's maid of honor was just about the last thing she wanted to do, but somehow Seth and Annabel had talked her into it.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said, gritting her teeth and trying to mend the egg. It was bleeding egg guts all over the pan.

"I know what it's like." He offered lamely, cutting a cantaloupe. She rolled her eyes.

"What, did Quil break your heart when he imprinted on Claire?" She jibbed, stabbing the egg again. She'd just scramble it. Put it out of its misery.

"That's not really what I meant." He muttered, defeated. Leah watched the eggs cook, witty retorts failing her.

"It's kind of sick, though, isn't it?" Once she got going, she was a bad gossip. She liked talking ill of other people. "I don't see how Claire will ever be able to love him. He's sort of a pedo." She said, scrambling the eggs viciously.

"Annabel loves Jake," He said before he thought better of it. Her head snapped up, her eyes narrowed.

"_Excuse _me?" She growled, attention grabbed away from the mangled eggs. He looked like he'd been caught in the headlights of a moving truck and couldn't move.

"Thought you'd know, by now." Was all he could manage, cutting the cantaloupe with unnessecary precision. She took his distraction as a chance to grab his shirt and pin him up against the wall. She was holding her spatula in a way that might be considered threatening.

"Explain now." She demanded, in what was admittedly not her best inside voice.

"Geez, I don't know. I guess he hasn't seen her since he changed. It was that night you jumped off the cliff. If you were doing your job, you'd know that by now." He said as he dropped the knife. He was a really lousy fighter, Leah thought to herself. Dropping his only defense. "Can't you just be happy for them?" She considered that for a second.

"No." She concluded, sinking to the floor and leaning her head against the wall. The kitchen kind of smells like burning eggs. He sat down next to her and for a long moment they were silent.

"You're taking this better than I thought you would." He finally put in, observing her carefully. She shook her head.

"Only because I'm trying to decide who to beat up first." She said finally, standing up to turn off the stove. She put the burnt portion of eggs on Annabel's plate. She couldn't deny she was petty.

"Lee." He groans from his spot on the ground, putting his head on his arms. "You can't be so confrontational."

"It's done me good so far." She objected, setting the plates out on the table. "Are you staying to eat?" She asked, sort of hoping he'd say yes. She'd never had any energy on the topic before, but now it'd be nice to have a buffer. Somebody to keep her in check so she didn't gouge Annabel's eyes out with a cantaloupe spoon.

"Think I'll skip on this one, sorry." He said, not really sounding sorry at all, as he put the knife down on the counter. "See you later, Lee." He exited quickly, bolting from her porch. She sighed, and sat down in her seat, waiting for her family to wake up.

Waiting to face the storm.

* * *

I think this officially makes me 1 percent done. Whee. So, I said they weren't all going to be angsty. I'm sticking to that. They're also not going to go chronologically, like these two did. Maybe. Probably not.

We'll see.


	3. Just Like Old Times

**Invisible Monsters**

_The things you own end up owning you._

Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

* * *

_Title _Just Like Old Times_  
Claim _Leah Clearwater_  
Rating _T_  
Warnings _Spoilers through Eclipse_  
Disclaimer_ I am not Stephanie Meyer_  
Summary _When she asked Kim to go camping with her, she hadn't realized the girl came packaged with a werewolf._  
Table/Prompt _Sayings / 02 It Seemed like a Good Idea at the Time_  
Number _003/200_  
Word Count _645

* * *

"I was thinking about cutting it," Leah said absently, skipping a stone out over the unnatural still waters of the lake. The ripples disturbed the surface and the reflection of the nearby moutain became distorted. Kim Attridge nodded her approval while examining Leah's waist-length locks.

"It gets too tangled, now, huh?" She asked, running a brush through them. There were a few twigs ensnared in the mass of curls, a result of their somewhat trying hike up to the camp ground.

"Yeah, and it's just too hard to keep clean." Leah agreed, heaving another stone out over the lake. It skipped nine times.

"How short?" Kim wondered aloud, pulling the freshly brushed hair into a ponytail. Leah was about to reply when a groan issued from the ground next to them. Jared Foxe was sprawled on the bank of the lake, face down, with his face buried in his hands.

"You know," Leah said, flipping her hair as she spoke, "We didn't _ask_ you to come along."

"Like I'd trust you to take her out here for three days on your own," Jared defended, not moving from his position. Kim frowned.

"I'm not a baby, Jared. I can take care of myself." She said, fussing with Leah's hair again. The werewolf girl smirked, though she was glad neither of them could see it.

She thought it made her a bad person but she really enjoyed it when the wolf clan's model couples had arguments. Because she always felt so alone, and perhaps because she'd never had a good experience with imprinting, she hated seeing the guys with their perfect girls. Especially since Jake had imprinted on her younger sister, Leah had been avoiding the couples like the plauge. Wiping the smirk off her face, she turned to Kim.

"Anyway, I was thinking just below my chin." She said, illiciting a low moan from Jared. Kim kicked him playfully in the side and he rolled over, arms still covering his face. She then turned to her long time friend and seriously considered the situation.

"I think shorter." She said, squinting as if she were trying to really visualise it. She then paused to consider something. "But Leah," She said, sitting down next to the girl instead of standing beside her. "You haven't cut your hair since you were, like, four."

To this Leah just shrugged, playing with the ends of her chocolate brown hair.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Kim proded, eyebrows raised.

"_Sam _likes it long," Jared commented from the beach. Leah glared at him and bit the inside of her cheek. Kim gave her an apologetic look.

"Why did you even come?" Leah asked tersely, rifling through her pockets for something to distract herself with.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Jared said with a shrug, looking up at the two girls. Leah had found her distraction. It was a swiss army knife. She'd opened the blade already. Kim eyed her skeptically, not believing she'd really have the gall to cut off a foot and a half of her own hair. Leah gripped her ponytail in one hand and the knife in the other and closed her eyes. Change, change was for the better she said to herself.

And just like that it was gone. Eighteen inches, ten years of memories, just laying on the lake shore. Kim smiled and fussed with it until it was arranged nicely about her shoulders.

"You look just like a runway model," The younger girl cooed, perhaps a little too enamored with the style. It was really Jared's approval she was looking for.

He nodded at her- nothing like Kim's ceaseless gushing, but still something, and for once she felt like he took her seriously. Not just whiny, harpy Leah, but someone who was trying to be a better person. She felt included.


	4. Breaking Points

**Invisible Monsters**

_It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your mind._

Sally Kempton

* * *

_Title _Breaking Points_  
Claim _Leah Clearwater_  
Rating _T_  
Warnings _Spoilers through Eclipse_  
Disclaimer_ I am not Stephanie Meyer_  
Summary _She knew exactly when she'd said too much, but she wondered if he did too._  
Table/Prompt _Unthemed 6 / Breathless_  
Number _004/200_  
Word Count _833

* * *

"He'll probably just kill her anyway," Leah sniffed, brushing her hair out of her befreckled face. It was more of a hope than a likely scenario. She'd seen the way the leech looked at Bella. Still, though, with the heat of the arugument rising, she needed to go somewhere radical. "All the stories say that happens more often than not. Maybe a _funeral_ will be better closure than a _wedding_. Ha."

It was a cheap shot. Leah knew it. She'd heard his thoughts, felt his regret.

_"You be better off dead. I'd rather you were."_

She knew he regretted it, but she knew he also sort of meant it, too. She'd rather Bella be dead than a vampire, anyway, and in a normal situation she wouldn't have had much energy on the topic.

He was shaking- how funny.

As he began to control himself, he glared at her, wiping the smile right off her face. He growled.

"If you're upset about gender confusion, Leah..." He began. She promptly frowned, knowing that whatever he said wasn't going to be nice. She'd really wound him up this time. "How do you think the rest of us like looking at Same through your eyes? It's bad enough that Emily has to deal with _your_ fixation. She doesn't need us guys panting after him, too."

It felt like a knife going through her gut. She'd sprung up, like she'd been burned, and scrambled away from him, meaning to apologize for her harsh words. All she could manage was spitting at his feet, though, and then sprinting off into the woods, her body shaking violently.

She was so angry that she just gave into the wolf she knew she actually was, and let herself be the monster. The weak, scrawny, too-small monster who wasn't even up to par. The monster who hurt its family in the worst ways. The monster she despised.

And she ran for a good long time, but was not alone in her thoughts for long enough. Somewhere between the river and the big stone she'd eat lunch on sometimes, she heard Jacob's voice clearly in her mind, thinking his own thoughts. She scowled mentally, made sure he heard it and knew she wanted to be left alone, and then skidded to a halt in front of her rock.

Normally she could phase back to human form quite easily- for all her hotheadedness she was surpsingly good at controlling her temper. Now, however, it took her a good three minutes to stabilize her breathing and calm down. As soon as she had, she rifiled through the pack of clothing she'd left there for just such occasions, throwing on a loose fitted jersey knit dress.

She sat down then, pulling her knees into her chest, just happy to be alone with her thoughts again. It was hard, having to share her innermost feelings with a group of male teenage hooligans. She had no privacy. No shame. No secrets. Everything she had once held close to her and not even shared with the best of her friends was now up for grabs for whichever wolf wanted it.

Blackmail had become a way of life. There was an intricate web, a balance. If one secret went, most definitely all of them would be flung around, like a domino effect. That was the only reason the entireity of La Push didn't know that couldn't swim, or that Collin was afraid of dolls, or that Quil had been the one that spray painted rumors about Davida Eagleston on the side of the school building two years ago. Stupid, fickle things like this and their fear of the truth being revleaed was what was holding their pack together.

She had been lost in her temporairly private thoughts when Jacob had wandered into the clearing. Sitting up, she shot a glare at him, flopping down backwards again when the greetings were done.

He didn't take the hint and instead climbed on top of the large rock and sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry, Leah," He said after a long moment. "Sorry I snapped, but you sort of deserved it."

If he was trying to protect his secrets from exposure, he wasn't doing a very good job, she thought crossly. She pouted.

"Look, Lee, I don't want to fight with you." He continued, obviously rather desperately trying to illicate a response from her.

"Go to hell." She muttered finally, her eyes closed against the already dim sunlight. He didn't say anything for a long while, but eventually patted her knee and jumped off the rock. She glimpsed at him as he began to walk away, and some wave of emotion came over her. Forgiveness was probably a good word for it. Desperation, maybe.

"Sorry." She muttered, being purposefully non specific. Thankfully enough, Jacob chose to take that small sign of gratitude and walked away without saying anything else, leaving Leah alone and confused and hurt in the middle of the woods.

* * *

2 done! and my father wonders what he sent me to school for. Anyway, in case you somehow missed it, this is backtracking a little to the epilogue of Eclipse. Thanks for your kind reviews, everyone! Stay tuned for next time xD


	5. Bones

**Invisible Monsters**

_If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. _

George Bernard Shaw

* * *

_Title _Bones_  
Claim _Leah Clearwater_  
Rating _T_  
Warnings _Spoilers through Eclipse_  
Disclaimer_ I am not Stephanie Meyer_  
Summary _"I wish you wouldn't do that," He said after a second, playing with the frayed ends of her hairs._  
Table/Prompt _Quotes / 10 George Bernard Shaw_  
Number _005/200_  
Word Count _635

* * *

Leah liked the fourth of July. Festivities, fireworks, freedom. Other hokey things. Memories, too, of being little, sitting on the beach with her head on her mother's lap as she watched sparks and heard their delayed sound. How her father would make caramel apples for her and Seth, the only thing he could cook. With summer in full swing, and still two months of vacation left, it was a good time of the year.

Now it was a little different. No caramel apples, for one, and her brother and mother were off somewhere else doing their own thing. She had instead opted to sit with Embry, and her head was currently rested on his stomach as the two of them looked up at the quickly blackening sky. They probably looked very much like a couple to casual observers- laying on their blanket, laughing occasionally. Their conversation had remained frivolous and lighthearted for a surprisingly long time, in Leah's opinion.

"It's been a year now, hasn't it?" He asked suddenly. Out of nowhere. A surprise attack.

So much for lightheartedness.

Leah heaved a sigh and rubbed her eyes warily. It had indeed been almost a year since her father died, but she didn't really want to talk about how this was the first fourth of July she'd spent without her father. After all, they'd gotten through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday- all fine. Why should this be any different?

"I don't want to talk about it, Embry." She said finally, crossing her arms over her chest, staring up at the stars absently.

"I know you do," He prodded quietly. She hated that. It was like some sort of Jedi mind trick. Because she really didn't want to talk about her father, but now she kind of did too. Reverse psychology or something.

"He wasn't a good man. That's what's really been eating at me." She blurted finally. "Ever since he died it's been all accomplishments and virtues. They never talk about what he did wrong." She's not sure when she started gesture sporadically to the sky, but there here hands are in front of her face, dimly lined by moonlight and gesturing away.

"Oh?" He asks, and she wants to punch him. Or maybe at least stop talking. Her mouth never listens.

"He beat Seth once, you know, with a belt. He was being a real brat... but still. After that, I tried being as bad as I possibly could. I was only ten, but I drew on the walls, that sort of thing. I even asked him to once."

"To... to beat you?"

"He said he would never beat a girl." She almost spat, relaxing slightly and closing her eyes against the dim light cast by the moon. There was a moment of silence as they power of her words hung on the air. It always surprised the others when she divulged something they hadn't previously known. They thought nobody had secrets. Leah, in her own opinion, was special in this way.

"But that was just once, I mean," He said suddenly, trying to drag the conversation. She'd had enough.

"You know what, Embry? Let's talk about _your _father." She said suddenly, harshly, flipping over to lay on her stomach. She saw the hurt, vulnerable look in his eyes and sighed, sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest, her back to him.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," He said after a second, playing with the frayed ends of her hairs.

"What?" She scoffed.

"You know what." He said, his hand falling to his stomach. She sighed, shifted, almost stood up, sat back down, and drew patterns absently in the sand to pass the time. The silence made her uncomfortable and she wished the fireworks would just start. Something to blunt the edge.


	6. Half Awake

**Invisible Monsters**

_You can't wake up someone who's pretending to be asleep._

Navajo Proverb

* * *

_Title _Half Awake_  
Claim _Leah Clearwater_  
Rating _T_  
Warnings _Spoilers through Breaking Dawn... I guess._  
Disclaimer_ I am not Stephanie Meyer_  
Summary _"Don't be a whiner, Leah," Seth said with a sidelong glance at his sister. She scoffed in reply._  
Table/Prompt _Geography / 02 Ocean_  
Number _006/200_  
Word Count _745

Leah leaned against the railing of the small boat, her fingertips dangling towards the dazzling ocean. The small craft yawed gently in the water where it was anchored. The motion was making her slightly ill, which she found odd because she normally liked sailing. Or maybe it was the smell of fish that was making her nauseous.

"Are you having fun yet?" Seth asked, suddenly right beside her with a huge grin on his face. She inhaled sharply and gave him a tight smile.

"You tricked me." She said flatly. She knew it was true. He knew it was true. It was almost a waste of her breath saying it. As soon as she had, though, his expression shifted to that silly grin he used when he was fibbing or lying. He was so transparent sometimes.

"I don't see how." He said, leaning on the railing next to her. Her eyes slide in his direction, her brow furrowed with sarcastic disbelief. He raised his eyebrows at her and went back to scanning the horizon.

"You said, Leah, we never spend time together anymore, you should come sailing with me," She began, less zealous than she usually was with her rants. Being bitter all the time was wearing her thin.

"You like sailing," He said. He knew it was true. She knew it was true. It was not worth denying.

"You didn't say, Leah, you never spend time with the guys anymore, you should come fishing with us." She concluded, looking over her shoulder at Collin and Brady, who were significantly better at fishing than they were last time she'd witnessed the event.

"Don't be a whiner, Leah," Seth said with a sidelong glance at his sister. She scoffed in reply. Taking the hint, Seth slouched off dejectedly and Leah returned to her previous past time of trying not to vomit. She hung her entire upper body over the railing, watching her long dark braid swing beneath her head. For about thirty seconds, she entertained the idea of simply staying here until all her blood flowed to her head and it exploded.

Unfortunately for her, it couldn't have been more than thirty seconds before someone interupted her, again.

"You should keep your center of gravity below the railing, otherwise somebody might push you," Collin Hastings informed her in his best helpful tone. She snapped up straight, caught her weight on the railing as the blood rushed from her head, and hopefully managed to pull off a resentful expression.

"What do you want, squirt?" She asked, turning back to the ocean.

"Why do you hate us so much?" He asked with no pretense. She started at the harsh phrasing of his accusation, and then settled in to it. Hate was a strong word, and not one she'd use for her relationship with most of the pack, but she could see why they might apply it to their situation.

"Look, kid, it's complicated, but I-"

"You're always so... I don't know. I can't think of a good word for it," He interupted her, causing a wave of shock and slight aggression to surge through her body. She got mad at the oddest things now days- it wasn't like he'd interupted a heartfelt apology to rag on her, after all. "You, you know. You dance around things, Leah. Like when something is uncomfortable for you, you just decide you're too good for it. That's why everyone thinks you're such a-"

"Collin, _please _just leave me alone." She said, her shoulders quivering with tension. He smiled broadly at her and the friendly gesture almost calmed her down. She let her tense posture drop in favour of curosity. "What?" She mumbled, suddenly very concious of his amused stare burning on her skin.

"You haven't called me by my name in the longest time." He said simply. She blinked several times, failing to understand how something so simple could make him so happy. She shook her head a few times but he shook his with more enthusiasm. "You're doing it again, see? See what you're doing?"

"_Collin_," She complained, her hand flying to her temple. The boy could be so irratating when he felt like it. His grin had somehow managed to get wider in the last five seconds.

"I think I just witnessed Leah Clearwater acting human." He said, only half sarcastically. "Weeeeird."

With that, he wandered off, leaving Leah gaping in a mix of rage and mild amusement behind him.

Hey guys, thanks for your reviews, they mean a lot to me D

Just a warning, in some chapters I'll be going Breaking-Dawn compliant, with Jacob imprinted on coughworstnameever_Renesmee_ and all that stuff. In those chapters, obviously, he never imprinted on Annabel, yadda yadda. I probably just put a little 'Breaking Dawn Continuity' label at the top somewhere, so it's not incredibly confusing or anything.


	7. Numb

**Invisible Monsters**

_You're always preaching not to be numb, but that's how you thrive._

Jonathon Larson, _Rent_

* * *

_Title _Numb_  
Claim _Leah Clearwater_  
Rating _T_  
Warnings _Spoilers through Breaking Dawn._  
Disclaimer_ I am not Stephanie Meyer_  
Summary _It had only been a few weeks, but in her highly emotional state she'd thrown her heart away again, just to have it tossed back at her in a slightly used state. Again._  
Table/Prompt _Angst / 08 Heartsick_  
Number _007/200_  
Word Count _1637

* * *

_one._

The night was a bit brisk for summer, but still pleasant. The stars were all out, despite the glow of the city. The wind smelled like the ocean- salty, fresh, like adventure. Overall, it was a pretty nice night. The beach was scattered with students from the Tribal School, couples who had snuck out of the homecoming dance to take a walk on the beach. Leah and Sam sat on a piece of driftwood, their feet buried in the cold sand. Her head was on his shoulder and he leaned his head on hers. She wondered briefly if he found as much solace in her as she did in him.

"I love you so much, Lee."

_two._

_  
_Leah's gleeful squeals had nothing on Emily's. Even as the two girl chirped and fawned over each other as though it had been more than three months since Emily had departed for college in California, Leah dragged her to the small den, where Sam was sprawled on the sofa, watching some game of football. It irked Leah slightly that he didn't even look up when they entered.

"Sam, you remember Emily, right?" She prompted, gesturing to her cousin and best friend. Sam's eyes remained glue to the television screen and Leah pursed her lips.

"Yeah, of course I..." He said, looking up at the two girls, trailing off in mid sentence. "Hey, Emily." He added in a softer tone, one that made Leah's blood boil. She didn't like the way he said her name- the way he said it like she didn't even exist. _  
_

_three._

In the seven days since her transformation, Leah Clearwater had spent most of her time in the Ateara's basement, coming out of her hidey hole only for her father's funeral. For the most part, it was a pleasant hiding spot, although the basement had its flaws. For one, Quil kept his Lacrosse gear only a few yards away from the old couch Leah was curled up on.

"Woah." He said as he caught sight of her, looking a little surprised. "Leah. What are you, uhm... doing in my house?" She rolled her eyes and pulled her blanket tighter around her shoulders.

"Don't have a heart attack. Your mom let me in." She defended. He didn't look relieved, though.

"Yeah, but why my basement?" He wondered aloud, leaning on a stack of boxes.

"Because it's private, nobody looks for me down here... and your mom is a really good cook." She admitted, resisting the urge to pull her blanket over her head and just pretend to be invisible.

"The truth comes out." He said with a crooked grin. She heaved a moody sigh, not really in the mood to be made fun of.

"How about you leave now?" She suggested in what was not her most polite tone.

"First of all, it's my basement," He pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "Second of all, I don't buy it."

"Excuse me?" She asked, slightly offended but mostly confused.

"I don't buy the whole mean girl thing." He said, flopping down next to her. She raised a skeptical brow. "Maybe the guys can't remember back that far, but you actually used to be a pretty nice girl." He pointed out.

"_I _can't remember back that far." Leah said with more than a little uncertainty. She certainly couldn't remember what it had been like before Sam imprinted on Emily. She knew it had been that way once, but she couldn't remember it.

"Promise me something, Leah?" He asked, looking her in the eye. She swallowed hard, but nodded once in compliance.

"Don't forget who you are."

_four._

"Claire?" Leah asked, her voice hollow. Quil cringed, expecting a verbal lashing.

"If you're going to yell at me, Lee, just do it. Emily already gave me an earful..." He said defensively. Her head quirked to one side as she observed him. He was really, genuinely afraid of her. Though, she reflected, he had fairly good reason to be. He'd imprinted on her two year old niece. It was certainly a delicate situation, even more so with Leah than her cousin. Unlike Emily, Leah's experiences with imprinting were largely negative.

"Lee, please say something." Quil said, his large eyes set on hers. Her lips pulled into a tight smile.

She was stupid for ever loving him. It had only been a few weeks, but in her highly emotional state she'd thrown her heart away again, just to have it tossed back at her in a slightly used state. Again.

"What are you thinking?" He prompted, catching the wistful glint in her dark eyes.

"Nothing. You're just kind of perfect for each other."

_five._

_I want to stay with you._

She realized the mistake as soon as she had made it and instantly wanted to take the thought back. His shock rolled over her like a wave. She came on too strong, just like always. Excuses poured out of her mind instantly, trying to rectify her forward statement. She heard him mull it over in their heads. Repulsed, of course. She told him to take his time and tried to distance herself from his thoughts. They were thoughts She didn't want to hear. Not now.

But then, as they ran, the pictures in his head shifted from him being alone to the two of them. Slowly, reluctantly, he could picture the two of them. Just the two of them.

Somehow, everything seemed like it was going to be fine.

_six._

"Jacob, what's gotten into you?"

The three of them were spending afternoon in a rare, leisurely fashion. They'd decided to go swimming in the river and were currently sprawled on sun warmed rocks, in their human forms, trying to dry off a little. This had all been Jake's impromptu suggestion, which Leah found odd because normally he was all serious about the whole protect the vampires thing. Now, his big goofy grin was too blatant to not be questioned.

"Oh, just Renesmee." He said, sparing her a sidelong glance. Her brow knit in confusion, but only for about half a second. She wasn't stupid.

"You _imprinted_ on it?" She hissed, her eyes locked on his. He looked shocked that she was so angry, but after blinking a few times managed to regain his composure.

"Her, not it." He corrected coldly. Leah just glared at him.

"It's half vampire. It's a monster." She said through barred teeth, her whole body vibrating like a tuning fork. He tensed up in response. Seth looked at both of in his adorable little Seth Clearwater way, as if he were about to burst into tears.

"She's also half human." He spat at her. She closed her eyes and leaned against her rock again, her cheeks visibly flushed even under her bronze skin. "If this bothers you, Leah, you could always go back to Sam."

She never thought anything could ever look repulsive in comparison with Sam-and-Emily again, but Jacob-and-the-Thing had done it. Breathing deeply, she opened her eyes.

"No, I just need a minute." She finally said, and Jacob nodded.

"Well, we're going to do our patrol. Catch up with us." He said before he and Seth bounded off into the woods as large dogs, leaving Leah very much on her own in the clearing.

_seven._

_Damn, damn, damn._

The single word resounded through her head as she realized they'd stolen her only method of escape. Feeling stranded and alone and slightly insane, she turned around, looking through the tree line. More trees. That's all there was. To get anywhere, she'd have to run, but she couldn't. She couldn't have Jacob in her head right now.

She couldn't stay in the smothering green forest, and she couldn't run. That left her only one option.

_Actually _run.

Without thinking about it, her body took off. She wasn't exactly sure where she was going, but her feet knew. Her mind worried about balancing and twigs hitting her unprotected face. Without a coat of fur to protect her she felt every little scratch. Without leather pads on her feet, she felt her skin slowly wearing away on the coarse ground as she ran.

It seemed like hours. The moon arched lazily over the sky and was just above her head when she realized that she was were she was going.

_eight._

She didn't know how she ended up at the Call household. Gravity must have pulled her there.

She wasn't entirely sure how she ended up on their sofa with Embry's arms wrapped around her as she cried.

She couldn't remember when she'd started spewing her life story to him. Things she'd been very, very careful to keep secret from him only months ago.

"Why am I so broken?" She sobbed, hitting him with her fists angrily. This wasn't fair. She'd never done anything to deserve this much heartbreak. Nobody deserved this much heartbreak.

"Shh, Lee, it's okay. Everything will be fine." He murmured into her hair, and a shiver went down her spine. Sobering, she pulled back from him and looked him in the eyes. His were full of kindness, warmth, reassurance.

But as she looked into his eyes, she felt no solace. She didn't feel like herself, and nothing seemed like it would be alright.

She'd never let herself be alright again.

* * *

Sorry for the long gap. For one, Breaking Dawn totally killed my Twilight muse. For two, I lost this entire thing TWICE due to computer crashes. Rewriting it was a chore and it's not nearly as good as it was the first or second time. I apologize.


	8. Dress Up

"**dress up"  
**_cliche/love triangle_

* * *

Leah was not the kind of person who made to-do lists, but she knew that if she did, playing dress up with Renesmee Cullen would not have been high up there. She wasn't exactly sure how she got hitched with baby sitting duties, but somehow it had happened, and she was sitting on the floor of the little girl's room while she fluttered around, making tea for her.

Tea.

The girl wasn't even a year old and she was making tea and reading Tolstoy and doing all sorts of creepy-ass things that little infants shouldn't be able to do.

She sat primly on a tiny child's stool in the girl's room, looking around with wary eyes. The young child was quick to catch on to her attitude.

"You don't have to worry," She chirped, like a tiny tea-preparing bird. Soon she had settled down right across the tiny table from Leah, her brown eyes boring into the wolf-girl's. "We're friends." She said, smoothing her lacey black skirts out. Leah scoffed.

"Are we?" She asked skeptically, holding out her tea cup when the girl offered to pour for her.

"Yes. Jacob's friends are my friends." She said very matter-of-factly, staring Leah down. Leah shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Is that right?" She asked, taking a sip of her tea. She did her best not to spite it out or choke on it. The kid must have put a pound of honey in it.

"Yes, and, I'm confused." She said, folding her hands neatly on the table when she'd finished her tea. Leah was constantly shocked by how business-like the toddler was. "Are you actually his sister? Because he says you're like his sister sometimes, and says you are his sister sometimes, and I don't want to be a biggot, but wolf-people all look much the same to me," She said, her brown eyes so wide and innocent that the question didn't sting quite as much as it should have. Leah blinked a few times.

"Yeah." She said after a moment, taking another sip of her sickeningly saccharine tea. "I'm his sister."


	9. Nothing Sacred

"**nothing sacred"  
**_cliche/eavesdropping_

* * *

It wasn't really like eavesdropping, Leah thought to herself as she lay very still on the forest floor, trying her best not to think anything loudly as Jacob did his nightly patrol. She'd gotten pretty good at this in recent months. Meditated, and stuff. She told herself it was for anger mangement, and then she'd quite phasing when she had it down, but that possibility was fading from her mind.

The real reason was, she was addicted to listening to Jacob think. It was like some bizarre form of masochisim, she was sure, because the more she heard his thoughts of being together with Renesmee and Renesmee being perfect and the world revolving around Renesmee, the more she wanted to hear more.

She marveled over how he could possibly adhere to notions that were so fundamentally wrong.

She longed to be that delusional herself.

Pressing her nose into the soft earth, she watched as pictures of Renesmee danced through her head like scrapbook pages. Bronze hair, brown eyes. Dancing. Laying on the sofa, eyes half closed, watching cartoons when it was past her bedtime.

Leah screwed her eyes shut but the pictures just kept going, a stream of conciouness that wasn't her own.

She had always longed for what Jacob had. An imprint. Someone to make everyone else, all her heartbreaks and failures, to make all that irrelevant. Now, she reconsided. She had never wanted to be dependant. Never wanted her every thought to center around a single person. Never wanted to be like Sam, or like Jacob.

Watching the images of Renesmee float through her mind, Leah tried to calm her thoughts. Not that mister oblivious would ever notice her if she waved her arms over her head and yelled 'I'm right here', but better safe than sorry. As her thoughts slowly settled into a soft, rolling ocean of nothingness, something startled her.

Her face. Her sarcastic smile, stretched thin at a bad joke that had been told over dinner one night, back when things were normal. Before her father died.

He was thinking of her.

And then it was all bronze hair and brown eyes and that Mona Lisa smile. She was gone, just a passing thought through his mind, picked up and discarded in a manner of seconds.

She sighed, letting her body crumple back into its compact human form, picked herself up from the ground, and walked home.


	10. Spooked

"**spooked"  
**_horror/ouija board_

* * *

"Oh, Jesus Christ." Leah muttered as Alice bounced forward, pulling her into the large, empty bedroom where Bella and Rosalie were already camped out on the floor, wrapped in blankets, their gold eyes aglow in the night. "You did _not_ wake me up for this."

"We didn't want to leave you out, and it had to be dark." Alice said, nodding in a very matter-of-fact fashion.

"You know this kind of thing is completely bogus, right?" She asked as she plopped down, eyeing the glow in the dark piece of cardboard warily. She was secretly moved by the fact that they'd even thought of her. Bella's attempts to include her in the family were almost enough to make Leah like her. Rosalie looked less than thrilled with the newcomer, but was at least doing her best to not sneer at the stench of the werewolf in the room.

"Yeah, but, I've always wanted to try it. I just never had friends before, and you're not supposed to do it alone, otherwise..." Bella said, smoothing out her gorgeous chocolate brown hair as she looked from Rosalie to Leah.

"Otherwise what? You'll be possesed by a ghost?" Leah scoffed, picking up the planchette from the Ouija board. "Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" She asked. Bella plucked the planchette away from her.

"Anyway," Alice said, sitting down between Rosalie and Leah, "We thought it'd be fun. You know, fun? You have fun, right?" She asked, a wicked smile gracing her tiny round face. Leah sighed dramatically.

"This is ridiculous." Leah repeated. "You can see the future, anyway," She pointed out, gesturing at Alice. "And you have a brother that can read minds. What additional information could you possibly extract out of a piece of cardboard that glows in the dark?"

"Don't question the almighty forces of the Ouija board." Alice said, deadpan serious. Leah growled, leaned her head backwards, and after a moment sat up straight.

"Alright, let's do it." She said, deciding to make the best of the situation or something. Jacob was always telling her to do shit like that.

"Okay," Bella said, and they all touched the planchette. The vampires, Leah noticed, touched it in a peculiar feather-light fashion, like they were barely touching it at all. It made her feel somewhat clumsy and unrefined. She looked around at the three girls. They all had their eyes closed.

"What now?" Leah asked, and Alice hushed her quickly.

"Oh, great spirits of the Ouija board... is anyone there?" She asked, her voice cermonious. Leah was hard pressed to not roll her eyes, but jumped slightly at the planchette moved suddenly towards 'yes'. The three girls squealed in surprise, and then in satisfaction.

"Oh, _please_." Leah scoffed again, earning a glare from Alice. "One of you pushed it."

"I didn't push it," They chorused innocently. She narrowed her eyes at them, but eventually just looked back down at the planchette in defeat. It wasn't worth it.

"So," Rosalie said, and they all looked up at her. "Since the three of us are all in healthy, long-term relationships, I think the naturally progression of questions is 'Will Leah ever get married?'" She said, looking down at the planchette. Alice and Bella giggled.

"Okay, I'm leaving." Leah said, standing up. The giggles were immediately replaced by whines and Alice grabbed her arm.

"No, don't go," She whined, her precious tiny face the image of heartbreak. Leah raised an eyebrow at her.

"You only woke me up because my life is such a mess." She said, Alice let go of her arm and, looking somewhat guilty, looked down at her toes. "Because you're all so perfect, it's boring, and you need someone else's misery to make your evening interesting."

They were all silent.

"I'm going to sleep." Leah said, running her hand through her hair. None of them said a thing.


	11. Stop the World

"**stop the world"  
**_angst/change_

* * *

One of the downsides to being immortal was having to watch the world change around you while you stayed the same.

Leah hated it. She hated feeling like the world was melting away from beneath, like everything was coming to and end and she just had to endure it.

The Cullens and even Jacob and Seth all seemed resigned to their fate of immortality. Leah wasn't. She wasn't ready to keep watching people die. She'd seen her father die when she was just a little kid. She'd seen her mother and her new husband die of old age. She'd seen Emily and Sam grow old together and have children and now she was watching them get old too.

Everything in the world was transitory, it was all temporary, and Leah had to witness it all.

"What's going to happen?" She asked one night, sitting on a dewey field as the Cullens played baseball. Alice was benched this round and was sitting next to her, her legs crossed as she sat primly, watching the game.

"Our team wins by six. Total bloodbath." Alice said, shaking her head. Leah just sighed.

"Not what I meant." She said, burying her nose in her arms. Alice quirked her head at her unlikely friend.

"Care to share?" She chimed. Leah inhaled deeply.

"I was just thinking, is the world ever going to end?" She asked. Alice raised a perfectly groomed brow at her.

"Yeah, I guess, eventually. That's not really the kind of thing I see, though." She said, turning her attention back to the game she'd already won in her mind's eye.

"Is that how we're going to die?" Leah asked.

"Unless something gets to us first," Alice affirmed in her usual happy tone.

"Right." Leah said, closing her eyes against the world.


	12. Thanksgiving

"**thanksgiving"  
**_phrases/do you want fries with that?_

On Thanksgiving, pretty much everyone she knows cram themselves into one room and eat a turkey. This year, they're down a man (her father), but they've also gained Rachel Black, Paul Rushlow, Kim Attridge and Charlie Swan, so it still seems crowded. That, and they've cooked not one but seven turkeys in the vain hope that they will be sufficient to feed eight werewolves.

She's already on edge with all of them in the room- her eyes comb over them briefly, taking tabs in her head. There's her, Seth and Jacob on the one side, their entire pack. On the other, there's Sam, Embry, Quil, Paul and Jared. Three against five. It's not an even fight.

She tried to tell that to Jacob before they went, but he refused to acknowledge her, and Seth just told her that they could take them, anyway.

To top it off, there's also a slew of parents and imprints and little sisters and relatives and family friends seated around the three tables they've arranged end to end in the Call Family's living room, which is barely big enough to hold all of them.

Leah bounces her leg nervously as the biscuits go around. As her mother pours wine, she's ready to bolt.

Then Sam and Emily are making an announcement.

"Everyone, can we have your attention please," Her ex best friend giggled as the ex love of her life chimed his wine glass with his fork. "As you all know, Sam I have been married for two months now,"

She did know. Two months, six days, and approximately two hours. She knew exactly.

"And we're really happy to announce, well, I don't know how to say this-"

"We're having a baby," Sam finished for her, straight and to the point as ever. Before the excited buzz could build up over the very first of a new generation of werewolf spawn, there was a second's pause, a total silence. For a fraction of a second, they started to talk, or clap, or hoot, but another sound squealched all the others out first. It was defeaningly loud, even to Emily, especially to Sam.

Leah pushed her chair back and left the room, without any ceremony or melodramatics.

Embry shortly followed her and caught up with as she was halfway to her car, already drenched by the autumn rain. He caught her arm, and she pivoted around and punched him as hard as she could manage. His grip on her arm was so tight, though, that they both went toppling down, and Leah tasted blood as her entire body made contact with the wet cement of the driveway.

She closed her eyes against the pain and focused on the coppery taste in her mouth. The feel of rain on her skin.

"Shit, Leah," Embry mumbles after a second, and she can feel him sit up. Picture him rub his forehead.

"Your fault." She mutters, standing up herself. She wants to look unfazed, nonchalant. Like she punches people that grab her arm all the time. She evidently fails because he follows her to her car and takes the shotgun seat.

"Get out of my car," She says in the nicest tone she can manage, gripping the steering wheel with an irony resolve. He just shakes his head. She spits a 'fine' at him in response, turns the ignition, and hits the gas, careening out onto the shoddily paved road.

They hit Forks in fifteen minutes, Port Angeles in fifty five. She's not aware that she's going too fast, only that she can't possibly be going fast enough. They don't say anything until they're in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant with twenty two dollars and ten cents worth of food in the space between their seats.

"It's amazing that you can eat a hamburger in five seconds and still look attractive," He says absently. She gets the feeling he didn't really mean to say it, but that's alright, because it made her smile.

"I practice with my mirror," She replies, playing the with the straw of her soft drink. They ate quickly and quietly. That was unspoken rule number one of their relationship. Food comes first.

She liked that he understood her. Jake always seemed to forget that she was just as ravenous as he was. He always assumed she'd eat like a bird, unless she was actually in wolf form and taking down a deer.

She puts down her drink and he looks at her.

"You alright?" He asks. She shakes her head no and he nods, looking away.

"Are you?" She asks quietly. He looks at her in surprise, and starts to answer, but never does.


	13. Like Burning

**Like Burning**  
(cliché/sharing body heat)

"In the olden days, innocent women were burned at the stake for witchcraft." Embry informed Leah on the fourth night of their camping trip. The statement was, to the best of her knowledge, completely unprovoked. She raised her eyebrows skeptically and continued to prod the embers of the fire, wishing they would just give up on this world and die. She was a lot like the embers, she reflected. The feverish, insignificant and potentially destructive monster who had outstayed its welcome on Earth.

"Yeah?" She asked simply, not looking up at him. She wasn't really thrilled with the idea of camping. It didn't hold the novelty it had when she had been younger, and even though Embry wanted to bond with her, or something like that, she felt like they'd bonded enough and being isolated in the forest wouldn't change anything. Still, it made him happy to go camping every labor day weekend, and it made her happy when he was happy.

"Yeah." He said, kicking moist earth onto the dying embers. She poked them with the stick again, and they snuffled, and then the faint orange glow was gone. She stood up, and stretched her arms over her head, and ignored how Embry stared at her stomach when her shirt lifted slightly. Small things like that she could forgive him. "It was because they were scared of what they didn't understand." He added. She nodded, biting her tongue. Embry was really big on using metaphors to say something he meant, but she could never parse it. For all she knew, he was telling her that they needed milk and toilet paper and would she please go to the grocery store when they got home?

Or maybe he was trying to say she was always scared because she could never figure out why people worked the way he did. Maybe he was saying if anybody found out she could turn into a giant wolf at will they'd cage her up and she'd never see daylight again. Maybe he was saying that he liked being close to her. She hoped that that was it. They didn't say anything else as they quickly and efficiently cleaned up their campsite. One benefit of having cohabitated for so long was that they didn't need to speak to communicate. For everything there was a routine. After she'd cleaned their tin dishes and he'd rubbed out the fire pit and tied up the food, they unrolled the single thin cotton sleeping bag they'd brought with them.

For all the years they'd gone camping together, they'd never used tents. Leah had made her views on the temporary structures clear in the early days of their matchstick romance. Too much trouble for a flimsy structure that wouldn't even protect you from a rabid bear if you needed it to. (That, and she'd seen the Blair Witch Project when she was eleven. The lasting effects had been detrimental, but she'd rather die than admit that.) So instead, they slept under the stars.

She felt safer pressed against Embry in the confines of the sleeping bag than she should have, and she knew it. There was something comforting about the restriction, the intimacy of it. It was too hot – their combined body heat was searing, like being in the desert, like they were basking in the sun on a rock instead of curled up inside a damp sleeping bag in the cold, empty Alaskan forest. They could be encased in ice and it would still be warm enough, as long as they were close enough. She shifted and settled into place as he wound his hand through her soft dark hair.

"Kind of like burning," She whispered against his skin, and she could feel him smile.


End file.
